Them Ludicrus Airplane Seat Belts...

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What is the purpose of the seat belts in an aircraft anyway? The way the crew makes a fuss about their usage, they could be the difference between taking off alive or dead!

Anyways, the last time I was on a flight, the pilot started doing some shitty stunts in the air as we were approaching Delhi. Judging by the spurts of zero gravity, I guess he was adjusting the altitude as we drew near. There were also patches of cumulous clouds the static from which caused the plane to get possessed and sway from side to side in violent tantric invocation, so perhaps he was avoiding them cloudies. Or perhaps he was a disciple of IndiGo’s Captain Parminder Kaur Gulati. He only knows.

Anyway, although moments of zero g when your stomach is tied up in knots may not be the perfect yogic aasan for a eureka moment, but then, neither was a bath tub...

So, the seat belts in a car protect you from a frontal impact in case of a collision. That’s why they are so nice and cover the shoulders and have a big buckle that isn't easy to unbuckle and would stay put even if heavily pulled. Also, a correct seat belt should cover the pelvis and not be on the stomach, as the pelvic bone can bear the impact of a heavy collision but your stomach entrails would burst open if pressed too tightly. And believe me, there have been fatalities due to the bursting of the kidneys or intestines in cases where the seat belt was tied too high and was covering the stomach instead of the pelvis.

But aircraft seat belts, on the other hand, are lousy to say the least. The buckle is so easy to open one could do it accidently. Just a flick of a few degrees and wallah, the buckle opens up. Moreover, they just cover the waist, and loosely too. So it seems, they aren't designed for sudden deceleration and braking. Obviously, since a plane cannot brake in mid-air. There's not enough friction. The only place there is enough friction is the ground. And in case your plane brakes suddenly on the ground (read, crash lands), let alone seat belts, even air bags won't be able to save your cranium from the pulp maker.

So the only reason that comes to mind regarding the usefulness of airplane seat belts, and one that is lent credibility by their minimalistic nature, is that their purpose is to keep you in place in free fall conditions. To prevent you from floating around and hitting the roof in case there's a free fall, turbulence or deliberate downward acceleration.

Heck, and the lengths they go to make sure the belts are fastened...


Reference on Ms.Gulati: http://mayday7700.blogspot.com/2011/02/indigos-lady-captian-who-cant-land.html

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